#53 Catch Up

Hello all you people that have stuck around anxiously awaiting my ramblings!  I know it's been 6 months since I have said hello, but I have some REALLY good reasons why. I have shorted them down to a list:

1. I got prego.

opa prego style

2. I moved.

3. I moved while I was prego

4. I moved while I was prego to the country

5. While we moved to the country while I was prego my hubs quit and started a new job

6. The house in the country that we moved to didn't have cable or phone connections.

7. The phone company was going to put in fiber optics but decided after making us wait 2 MONTHS AFTER WE MOVED to not to...just because we were too far out in the country.

8. I tried to potty train lil fuss...and FAILED

9. In the country there are skunks...

10. I ended up having a BABY and not a pony like I had hoped.

11. We got satellite.

12. Satellite stinks.

13. No more netflix or streaming of ANYTHING

14. We bought a lot of movies

15. Movies don't get watched because there is a NEWBORN and 2 yr OLD!

16. Potty trained again...and WON

So as you can see the odds were against me for new postings...

I shall try to begin again.

Things I'm Thankful For:

Breast Pads. That is all.

#31 how to help a new mom out Mother's day special

Oh my goodness,  we went over our friends house the other day for a much needed dinner hang out that involved my Nannie's lasagna recipe.  They just had their second baby a little over a month ago, so needless to say, everyone in the home is exhausted.

I immediately went to grab the adorable baby out of momma's arms to give mom a break. Not quite 10 minutes into holding her, all feelings came back to me of when I had my baby girl at that age.  (not great feelings...I would almost describe it as a panic attack....like something inside of me is screaming YOU WANT ANOTHER ONE OF THESE!? YOU WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN!? GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!!! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!!!...but i digress)  My poor friend! I empathize with her BIG time! So I have decided since Mother's Day is just around the corner (May 13th people!!), to give you all some tips for helping your new momma friends out there. They may not say they want it, but TRUST me....they do.

• DO NOT CALL!!!    For the LOVE OF GOD the baby JUST went down for a NAP!!!! And when is nap time? ALL THE TIME. Do not call their house, do not call their cell.  If you need to contact them, txt them and wait for a response. If they don't have txt. Email or Facebook....and if they don't have email (what planet are they on?) or don't check stuff that often...find out what would be OK times to call in general and wait to call during those times.

• When you see momma, ask if you can hold her baby.  MOST moms will jump at the chance to have someone else hold their kiddo. It has nothing to do with them not loving their baby, but EVERYTHING to do with being around the same person (In their ARMS no less) for hrs on end! They need a BREAK! If anything, their ARMS need a break! (caveat... please make sure you actually KNOW the mom before you try to take her baby from her! )

• Make them a meal.... BUT .... DO NOT include anything that is super spicy, has onions, garlic, etc.  Depending how old the baby is and if momma is breastfeeding, anything the mom eats, the baby is getting in the form of milk.  Most baby's guts are not totally developed and makes them SUPER sensitive to anything strong in food form....aka making it a living HELL for momma because baby has an upset stomach or worse... GAS!

• When mom is up for it, try to plan some lunch, play or COFFEE dates.  You'd be amazed at how little she will get out of her house those first 2 months.

• Ask her if you can watch the baby/kids for an hr or more.  I guarantee the only thing that poor woman  wants right now is a hot shower, brushed teeth and a NAP!  It's amazing what you can do when you get a little more sleep in you!

• Last....be open to be available to her. In whatever way that means. Everyone is different, and every baby is different, therefore sometimes the needs are different. Sometimes all a new mom needs is someone that will hear them and know they have a support team.

And there you have it! Go out and be blessings to those new moms out there!

#29 Post-Partum Depression

So it has been just about 18 months since I had my baby girl.  During the first year I suffered from post-partum depression.  To help me cope, I wrote.  This is something I wrote while depressed. This is not like my usual funny posts. It's a serious one.  I feel that it should be read by others so other new mom's will know the real story of depression after baby.  Just a warning....for those of you that may actually personally know me, please don't be offended by anything I wrote. I was not in a good place...and THANK GOD I'm better now!

not even coffee made me happy :(

What they don't tell you..new mom's dirty little secret

Why did people not tell me how crappy the first few months are after having a baby? Did they think that it would scare me off to having kids? (they would be correct) Did they just not have as bad a time than I did? Or did they just forget? I vow to NEVER forget.

Yes I am going to have more children, so don't go thinking i will be done with this one...although if I could guarantee my daughter not growing up to be a brat or lonely i would totally stop at one. But I'm beginning to think that this is a dirty little secret that new moms don't want to let others know because in some way they are bad people for feeling it.

Well screw it. I'm going to say it. When my baby was born Nov 3rd, 2010 at 8:44pm, the first thought I had other than 'Holy crap my undercarriage has been set on fire and there will be nothing left!' Was 'THANK GOD ITS OVER!' Apparently I said something else out loud that was more on the lines of cutesy 'i can't believe she's mine' sigh. Roll the eyes.

When I was in the hospital it was fine other than dealing with my parents who were pissed that they missed the birth of their grand baby because I didn't call them fast enough to drive 13hrs and be there when she popped out...It was when I got home that it set in. The first 2 weeks were hard but we had people coming over and feeding us and visiting. But then they stopped coming. We were left with just me, hubby, who went back to work and this stranger that would not stop crying, pooping, eating, sleeping....every 2 hrs.

Since the hubby went back to work, it was just me and my daughter. An isolation set in. Like this dark cave that you can't see the light of day and have no concept of time anymore. Was it morning? Evening? When did I eat last? Have I showered this week? Is my baby sleeping or did she get SIDS?! oh she moved....ok she's sleeping....

Slowly I began to loose myself. My hobbies, my style, my dreams....gone. Nothing but a shell of a person who has now become a human cow quite literally.

People would call now and then or we would see my husbands' family or a few of my close friends and they would ask me how it's going....I was never fully truthful with them. I would always say it's fine or 'Its Going!' One time i opened up to some of my close girlfriends and they acted like I was crazy for not adoring my beautiful baby girl. So I stopped opening up to them.

I would just cry some days....just cry. I was so tired. A numbness came over me....I felt indifferent to everything. nothing really mattered. My job was to be this girl's mother and this man's wife. Period. I talked with my husband about it sometimes but not in detail. I would say, dont' worry I'll be fine. It's just a stage, a season.... and it was for the most part.

As my girl got older, some things got better. As she started smiling at me then giggling I would get happy again. She started to respond to me and slowly stole my heart. About 3 months later I started to really feel love for my baby. That thing some new mom's say was instant they set eyes on their kiddo....yeah, it wasn't the case with me. The kicker is that I seriously lucked out with my baby. She's happy, smiling, laughs all the time, wants to play by herself and is so beautiful I can't believe it. She goes to bed at 7:30pm and wakes up at 6:30 with no interruptions...and yet... it's still there. That numbness. It seeps in sometimes. There will be days that she will fuss or play or whatever and I just want to scream and go take a nap....or I'll just hold her and stare at a wall feeling nothing.

They call it the baby blues...what a nice name for such a horrible feeling. My baby is turning 9 months tomorrow and it feels like I've come a long way since the beginning....but i still feel like I have so far to go. I will beat this, whatever it is. And my daughter will only know that her mother loves her more than life itself. Even though she feel dead inside.

#22 Zombies and Photography

So I have officially decided to start taking clients for photo sessions! It's kind of a big leap for me since I SWORE I wouldn't go that route...but...I couldn't help myself...people kept asking me to take their cute little kids photos! I thought I might as well make it for real and get paid since I currently don't have a paycheck.

Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE doing this kind of photography!  It's so fun to catch those moments on camera and share them with everyone. There is something though, deep within me, that wants to do stuff like this:

Click on picture to see the whole photo shoot!

Zombie engagement photo shoot. aka BRILLIANT! How stinkin' cool are these people to WANT to do this for their engagement photos?! Best. Idea. Ever.

And speaking of the zombie apocalypse, which we are all preparing for, I want to share some tips for packing your bug out bag:

1. Cash will probably not be worth anything so don't bother stock piling it. Spend it now! 
2. Cell phones won't work, so invest in a hand crank CB radio and have any friends or family you want to still be in contact with after the apocalypse to get one too. Great gift idea for Christmas! Nothings says I LOVE YOU than a cb radio for after all Hell breaks loose!
3. Guns:  Remember, all that hoarding of ammo does you no good if you can't carry it all with you! Think RAMBO
4. Gotta slow kid? Hiking packs to carry those precious, but stumpy-legged ones is better than all dying 'cause Timmy couldn't keep up.
5. Play Fall Out 3 and watch the book of Eli before looking online for purchases. You will be inspired!

Ha...stinkin Zombies

And what am I thankful for today?

Nap Time.

All parents rejoice at this glorious time of day when the young ones go to sleep and the parents can update their blog, or clean, or play videos games...or ....WHATEVER THE CRAP THEY WANT!!!! MWUAHAHAHAHA!!!!! FREEEEEEDOM!!!!!....crap she's up...*sigh*

#21 My Dogs are KILLING me!

 I own 2 dogs. We got them both from the local shelter...not because we want to SAVE the dogs, I mean that's sweet and all too, but because we wanted to SAVE money and not do what I did in college and spend $600 + on a mutant uni-testi, Rat dog. 

                                                              Rat dog started off like this:

Ooo Cute Puppy!!!

And turned into this:

SATAN'S SPAWN!!!

I've never met a dog so JACKED up. He had double incisor teeth that needed to be removed. He would snip at anything male, and  when we tried to cut his hair.  He didn't have a testicle descend so he needed surgery for that. We were told to get him neutered to calm him down and instead it made him CRAZIER.  And what's worse, we got him as a puppy, a SWEET LITTLE PUPPY! and he just turned evil.   No joke. (I'm sure my rearing skills as a college student had NOTHING to do with it) We gave him away to a sweet lady I worked with who made him a muzzle and a cape. Changed his name to Mister Bigglesworth and claimed him a Gay dog. Done and done.  I've never been so happy to get rid of an animal before in my life.

So this time around we went to the local shelter and only spent $80 which INCLUDED neutering/spaying! DEAL! Our first dog is Sadie. Or as we refer to as Sadie-dog.  We got her first in fall of 07. We thought she was cute and noticed she didn't bark like all the other dogs. She's a lab/Blood hound mix, so her droopy face is quite cute.  This is me outside the shelter the day we got her:

Yes she is peeing in this picture.

They told us she was about 1 1/2 years old and was done growing. They also didn't think much of the white mark on her head which looked like she got hit or knocked by something. THE SHELTER LIES.  She was NOT 1 1/12 years old, she was closer to 7 months old...aka PUPPY, and she was NOT done growing. She was 50lbs and now after almost 5 years, she is 81 lbs.

This is Sadie now:

She is a MASSIVE beautiful dog that is the STUPIDEST dog I have ever met. Remember that white mark on her head? Apparently she got bonked or abused before she got to the shelter, so she has this amazing ability to completely block you out while staring right at you (like my hubby sometimes haha) or she'll focus on a bird or a smell and nothing else will exist in her world. Plus she has this NEED to be touched at all times. The picture is very accurate depiction of her trying to sit in my lap. She has no concept of personal space. If our other dog is getting petted, she will wedge herself between the two to get pet instead. She did this once to me and my baby girl which didn't bode well for the Sadie-dog.  Do not MESS with mamma bear's cub...even if you were here first.

Now we got our other dog in order for Sadie to have a companion and in hope of her being distracted enough to not eat every plant in sight or destroy our patio furniture.(it didn't really help)  His name is DUKE.  Duke is an 86 lb shepherd mix. Duke is AWESOME. I love duke. Duke is what every dog should be. He's cuddly, he is loyal, he's great with the baby and he can kill random vermin that enter our backyard illegally.
This is Duke when we first got him from the shelter. Again, he got neutered so he had to wear this ridiculous cone (which he ended up destroying and tearing out his stitches 3 times... but I digress...)

Looks a little crazy but he's awesome

 This is Duke now:

I love Duke. Did I say that already?  Great dog. This past weekend hubby and I came home from a date. We pulled up to our home and there is Duke just chillin' outside the garage. We were like, "hey Duke?whatcha doing out here? Where's Sadie? "  Duke was like.... NOTHING HE'S A DOG!!!  haha Anyway looked around the fence and found a lovely hole in the fence 3 planks deep. STUPID DOG.  Hubby was not happy.  But then he thought...HEY! maybe she is gone now forever! No more Sadie dog!!! YEA!!!!  We walked into the house and we had a message...yep...some poor guy had her. he ran away from her thinking she was going to attack him...apparently scared the POOP out of him! She caught him and started licking him...so he was relieved to find her friendly.  So I went and picked her up.

And that was the day we almost got rid our  Sadie-dog.
(ps: she started digging in the same spot the next day after hubby repaired the fence...
and that was the day Sadie-dog almost died)

Thankful?

Oh venti non-fat chai latte how I love you