#50 what what

CARPEL TUNNEL!!!! WHAT WHAT!

Did I mention I'm moving in 2 days?

I think I look like a power  lifter....

or a warehouse worker....

or a total weirdo.

#49 The IKEA Mattress Debacle

I love Ikea.  Where else can you get disposable furniture and Swedish Meatballs in the same store? ok walmart maybe, but STILL, I feel way cooler shopping at Ikea than Walmart!

So I was in Ikea the other day trying to buy a mattress to replace hubs old one in the guest room. We are making it my little girl's new bed for when she transitions from crib to big girl bed. (Which is happening SOON!!! like probably when we move in 10 days!)

I decide to go there by myself and my toddler...and buy a mattress....HAHAHAHAHA

It was like this but without help and a toddler

There is a reason they are so cheap, they don't hire enough employees to help with anything. It's all SELF SERVE.

Well I'm sure I was quite a site pushing a cart with a 2 year old in it while at the same time dragging a full size mattress.

Ikea has a cool feature if you don't want to haul your crap home in your own car where for a small fee of $59 they will deliver your stuff to you the next day.  I thought, Hey this is a great idea! They also said they will take away your old mattress for free! Another win! So I set up the delivery for the next day from 1-5pm.

SIDE NOTE:
Why the crap can't delivery people just say, we will call you 30-60 min before we get to you house so you don't ruin your whole day waiting for us to show up?!?!?  WHYYYYY????

So we wait. And wait.....AND WAIT.....I finally get a call at 4:45 with the delivery guys saying they will be there in 30-45 min depending on traffic.  WONDERFUL.
We had a dinner at 6pm that night and I needed to get lil' fuss to the sitter. So I left hubs there to man the fort while I drop the munchkin off.

As I'm driving home, hubs calls me and tells me that the delivery guys wouldn't take the two mattresses and he ended up PAYING them $20 to take it.

I. WAS. LIVID.
Poor hubs. I should have stayed and he should have dropped the fuss off.  I had backup people lined up on craigslist to take the mattress set if for some reason this didn't go through, but hubs didn't know that.
Then Hubs tells me that he heard the guys discussing who was going to GET the mattress set!!! They weren't going to "dispose of it" like Ikea said they were, they were having us PAY THEM for a mattress!!!! ARRGGHHH!!! :)

Well the next day I call IKEA customer service and told them what was up.  They do their research and say they can't do anything about the $20 we paid the movers since there was no "documentation" about it. REALLY?!?!? Momma bear was not backing down. So I told them that on top of that they were late! They look up the documents and the girl tells me that they got to our house at 5:08pm.  I nicely told the woman that they got to our house around 5:30, NOT 5:08...WHICH IS BESIDES THE POINT BECAUSE THEY WERE STILL LATE!!!

So they girl told me she would talk to her boss. I told her how ethically horrible this whole situation was. Especially since IKEA said it would be done a certain way and this third party moving company is making THEM look like the unethical ones.

I got a full refund for my delivery.

I LOVE IKEA.

I do not love third party moving companies that try to rip off innocent people.


What am I thankful for today?

HOODIES & COFFEE IN COLD WEATHER!!

I'm thugging out in the 30 degree Texas weather! BRRRR!

#48 A little Brulée?

Well I guess all the "riots" that were going to happened never came to be (I'm guessing because Obama won shhhhhhhh). But keep those useful tips on hand because as you all know, the  world will be ending anyway Dec 21st according to the reliable source of a dead society the Mayans! Waste not, want not!

Since I haven't don't a coffee review in a while, I thought I would talk about one of Starbucks' new holiday only flavors they come out with around thanksgiving through new years.

They have Peppermint Mocha, Caramel Brulée Latte, and Gingerbread Latte.

Now I am not one for really sugary drinks where I can barely tell there is coffee in it, unlike the hubs who PREFERS it that way...gross. But I went on a whim and ordered the Caramel Brulée Latte.

It's described as 

Espresso and steamed milk flavored with caramel Brulée sauce, topped with sweetened whipped cream and caramel Brulée topping.

Mmmmm sounds delish doesn't it?!?! Well it WAS! Holy crap this drink was like liquid BUTTER!!!! ( i love butter....don't judge)

I drank that baby down like it was going out of style! Sigh....mmmm...so good....but then I descided to look up the calorie content of this deliciousness...

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (16 fl oz)

Calories 430	Calories from Fat 120
	% Daily Value*
Total Fat 13g	20%
Saturated Fat 7g	35%
Trans Fat 0g
Cholesterol 50mg	17%
Sodium 0mg	0%
Total Carbohydrate 69g	24%
Dietary Fiber 0g	0%
Sugars 52g
Protein 11g
Vitamin A 15% Vitamin C 2% Calcium 40% Iron 0%
Caffeine 150mg
*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet.

OMG. 430 calories!?!?? 52g of SUGAR!? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY WEIGHT WATCHER POINTS THAT IS!?!??!?!

12!!!!!!

That is almost HALF my daily allotment for the day! 

oh well, it was yummy I'll just eat fruit and veggies the rest of the day since they are 0 points :)

Jess Rating?

Two thumbs up (didn't rate it the highest because of the calorie thing)

And what am I thankful for today?

Talented friends!

My friend Nate Blount is trying to win a recording deal, so watch his video to help a guy out!

#47 Surviving the election aftermath

Thoughts, thoughts, so many thoughts and stories in my head. That's a bit scary haha!

 

Speaking of scary, the election is tomorrow so I thought I would write about something we should all be concerned with: 

 

After election riots and the end of the world

 

MWUAHAHAHAHA!!!

 

I have heard some rumors that there might be rioting and or massive shut downs of the airports and businesses if Romney OR Obama wins.

 

Crazy right?! I mean who would start destroying innocent people's property just because they didn't like the outcome of a decision made by our system?

 wait...wasn't there that whole thing in LA in the early 90s....?  that was different thought right!!?

 

maybe......

 

But what if it isn't!? What if it will actually happen?! What will you do!?!?

 

My sister lives in PA and was out of power for almost 3 days after Sandy hit and I still haven't heard back from my Grandma that lives just outside New York City...

Stuff happens and most people are not prepared and freak out. But then the ones that take the time to buy stuff like a generator or extra food will soon get turned against on by the people that didn't prepare!

 

So what are we to do when disaster strikes?

Well I'm glad you asked! Here are some top things to remember when currently in a riot or government breakdown/ end of the world.

WARNING 

All answers based on all end of the world shows and movies like Revolution, Jericho, Contagion, The Book Of Eli, The Walking Dead,  ect. If you take me too serious you deserve to have #8 take away your #9

 

 

1. Stockpile weapons.

apparently he who has the guns has the power according to all my research.

 

 

2. Get control of a water source.

That's one of the first thing they tell you in the Hunger Games....Find water!

 

3. Go to your Panic Room

Make or find a secured preferably 6-18 inch concrete vault.

 

4. Learn Archery

not only can you defend yourself, but you can get food and have unlimited ammo!

 

5. Try to avoid people.

People are gross. Don't touch them, you might catch something yucky that will kill you..or they may have already gotten ahead of you and have #1 and #4 and WILL kill you.

 

 

6. Go for the headshot

Apparently not only will it for sure kill someone, it will also kill zombies

 

 

7. Get control of a Milita

You won't have to worry about riots when you are the one creating preventing them!

 

 

8. Become a Krav Magra expert...

and grow a mustache

not only will you look amazing, but you will be able to round house kick your way to freedom.

 

9. Stock up on toilet paper

 If all the natural disasters taught us ANYTHING is that you can never have enough toilet paper. Period.

He who has the paper, wins the war.

 

10. Get bitten by a vampire and become immortal

 

I know you are saying "DUH!" but I had to put this out here because if all else fails, this will always ensure you will survive....FOREVER

make sure to have your immortal children before you turn!!

Aren't you so glad you read by blog and got all this important survival information!?!?  I know I AM.  :)  hahaha! I mean...

 

MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

 

 

 

 

Note:

If riots do happen, don't be the dumb mob person that destroys things. Just stay inside and be nice :) unless the people try to hurt you or your babies...you then have my permission to go Krav Magra on their butts :)

#46 Halloween

I don't know when it happened, somewhere between having children and moving perhaps? No...It seems it has been a steady stream of decline from... maybe marriage?
 

Of course I am talking about getting dressed up for Halloween...or maybe just being invited to something that would require me to put some creative effort into my attire...*SIGH*
 

You see I LOVE getting dressed up in costumes... *cough* FOR EVENTS LIKE PARTIES OR HALLOWEEN...weirdos...sheesh No but REALLY I STINKIN LOVE TO GET DRESSED UP!!! It's so fun to get into character and really be that character. And YES I am a theater major...thanks.

 

 

 

Since lil fuss is about to turn 2, I realize I have been putting more effort into HER costume and completely forfeiting any will to create something fun for me too...

Last year she was a butterfly...an adorable, CHUBBY, fluff of an insect...I bought a "net" and was a Butterfly catcher...but ended up just returning the net because that was the extent of my costume. And it really seemed silly to walk around with a net that served no other purpose but to confuse people.

This year she's a pink poodle. I was thinking of attaching a leash to her and be a "dog walker" but again...I feel weird walking my 2 year old with a leash that is attached to her neck...doesn't seem ...i don't know, right? Kind of feels like CPS will come and arrest me the minute I post a picture of us lol.

notice the tights are making a revisit!

 

So for now I will have to just reminisce of past costumes, and try to make an effort to attend a Renaissance festival sometime soon :) Yes I am THAT person...not the sword people that practice in the park, just the dress up and eat turkey legs with no regard to napkins.

 

 

Here are some past looks :)

Fairy...(circa HS)

A little 80s?

Super Sisters!

Snow white...

????

Hat much?

 

EGGS!?

a little housewife action

I dress up as my friend Stacy

40s!

way back...about 11 I think I'm a dog or something

Cowgirl up!

angry praire girl?

Hairspray!

Gesha

SO SERIOUS

army princess pizza loving girl?

something...

 

#45 Halloween Costume Personality

 I have a theory that relates to how people pick out their costumes. I think it 1. directly relates to how much attention they are in need of  and 2. Has a real window into their personality.

 

For instance...

 

1.The "sexy" costume.

This is the costume that gets the most attention period. So for most girls and some guys, they choose this route because they want people staring at them. Ooogling them. They LOVE it. If they say otherwise, they are lying through their perfect teeth.
 

On the personality part of the equation, I think these people think they are FUN, but are usually more consumed with themselves and their "image"

 

2. The "SCARY" Costume

Attention is not as big a deal for these people, but they would like to get a "reaction" out of people...usually involving screaming.
 

Personality wise, these people probably have a fascination with the grotesque and could be anywhere from normal intrigue to seriously needing therapy.

 

3. The "celebrity" Costume

Attention can vary on this one based on what celebrity is being presented. If we are talking madonna with the cone bra, then they are probably needing more attention than the person dressed up as Nixon.

 

On personality, I think this person is probably either is up on their fame and pop culture, or just really loves or wants to make fun of the character they are dressing as.

 

 

4. The "Funny/Clever" Costume

This person wants to draw attention to how smart or creative they are. They want to be seen as funny and innovative. They want people to laugh or just gawk at their awesomeness.

 

 Usually this person is really fun to be around. They are typically the people you want on your friends list :)

5. The "non" costume

 

This Person does not want attention. They don't care. In fact, why did they even come to this stupid party?

 

Either this person is "too cool for school" or they are so busy / lazy they don't consider it worth their time to put effort into a stupid costume.

 



 

 

Well there you have it. Please don't debate, my science is sound :)