Monday, May 7, 2012

#31 how to help a new mom out Mother's day special

Oh my goodness,  we went over our friends house the other day for a much needed dinner hang out that involved my Nannie's lasagna recipe.  They just had their second baby a little over a month ago, so needless to say, everyone in the home is exhausted.

I immediately went to grab the adorable baby out of momma's arms to give mom a break. Not quite 10 minutes into holding her, all feelings came back to me of when I had my baby girl at that age.  (not great feelings...I would almost describe it as a panic attack....like something inside of me is screaming YOU WANT ANOTHER ONE OF THESE!? YOU WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN!? GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!!! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!!!...but i digress)  My poor friend! I empathize with her BIG time! So I have decided since Mother's Day is just around the corner (May 13th people!!), to give you all some tips for helping your new momma friends out there. They may not say they want it, but TRUST me....they do.

  • DO NOT CALL!!!    For the LOVE OF GOD the baby JUST went down for a NAP!!!! And when is nap time? ALL THE TIME. Do not call their house, do not call their cell.  If you need to contact them, txt them and wait for a response. If they don't have txt. Email or Facebook....and if they don't have email (what planet are they on?) or don't check stuff that often...find out what would be OK times to call in general and wait to call during those times.
  • When you see momma, ask if you can hold her baby.  MOST moms will jump at the chance to have someone else hold their kiddo. It has nothing to do with them not loving their baby, but EVERYTHING to do with being around the same person (In their ARMS no less) for hrs on end! They need a BREAK! If anything, their ARMS need a break! (caveat... please make sure you actually KNOW the mom before you try to take her baby from her! )
  • Make them a meal.... BUT .... DO NOT include anything that is super spicy, has onions, garlic, etc.  Depending how old the baby is and if momma is breastfeeding, anything the mom eats, the baby is getting in the form of milk.  Most baby's guts are not totally developed and makes them SUPER sensitive to anything strong in food form....aka making it a living HELL for momma because baby has an upset stomach or worse... GAS!
  • When mom is up for it, try to plan some lunch, play or COFFEE dates.  You'd be amazed at how little she will get out of her house those first 2 months.
  • Ask her if you can watch the baby/kids for an hr or more.  I guarantee the only thing that poor woman  wants right now is a hot shower, brushed teeth and a NAP!  It's amazing what you can do when you get a little more sleep in you!
  • Last....be open to be available to her. In whatever way that means. Everyone is different, and every baby is different, therefore sometimes the needs are different. Sometimes all a new mom needs is someone that will hear them and know they have a support team.


And there you have it! Go out and be blessings to those new moms out there!

9 comments:

  1. This is great advice! I remember family would come over and start cleaning my house, but I WANTED TO CLEAN my house! I wanted a break from the baby, to take care of the other parts of my life that were on the back burner but made me feel good to accomplish! I tried to tell them, please don't clean I will do it, a break from the baby would be more beneficial to me. But it was in one ear and out the other.
    If only I could get them to come back and clean now.... ;)
    -Megan

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    1. You can come clean my house...I'll let you :)

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  2. AMEN SISTA!!!!! I remember those early days and I would have killed for someone to hold my baby, let me take a nap, and have an hour or so to myself!!!!

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    1. I would practically throw my baby at people...friends, family...the airport security... :)

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  3. Very amusing Jessica and with good suggestions! Babies take time, effort, commitment, and loads of LOVE. God's grace and wisdom are big ones too...couldn't have done it without them! And of course it's such a blessing when you get help from family that wants to help you because they really love you and want to do what's right. Let's hear it for unselfish love lavished on mothers! A very Happy Mother's Day to new moms and a very Happy Mother's Day to the old ones too! Keep up the good work!

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  4. I would have paid people to hold my baby for any amount of time, but I had no family or friends where I lived. Oh, I just remembered the exhaustion.

    He is 16 now and still exhausts me...but not as much:)

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    1. At least you are not expected to hold him anymore!

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  5. It's so weird - those first days/weeks/months seemed to last FOREVER, but looking back, it went by so fast. Yes to all of this! And a belated Happy Mother's Day!

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