Monday, November 5, 2012

#47 Surviving the election aftermath

Thoughts, thoughts, so many thoughts and stories in my head. That's a bit scary haha!

 
Speaking of scary, the election is tomorrow so I thought I would write about something we should all be concerned with: 
 
After election riots and the end of the world
 
MWUAHAHAHAHA!!!
 
I have heard some rumors that there might be rioting and or massive shut downs of the airports and businesses if Romney OR Obama wins.
 
Crazy right?! I mean who would start destroying innocent people's property just because they didn't like the outcome of a decision made by our system?
 wait...wasn't there that whole thing in LA in the early 90s....?  that was different thought right!!?
 
maybe......
 
But what if it isn't!? What if it will actually happen?! What will you do!?!?
 
My sister lives in PA and was out of power for almost 3 days after Sandy hit and I still haven't heard back from my Grandma that lives just outside New York City...
Stuff happens and most people are not prepared and freak out. But then the ones that take the time to buy stuff like a generator or extra food will soon get turned against on by the people that didn't prepare!
 
So what are we to do when disaster strikes?

Well I'm glad you asked! Here are some top things to remember when currently in a riot or government breakdown/ end of the world.

WARNING 
All answers based on all end of the world shows and movies like Revolution, Jericho, Contagion, The Book Of Eli, The Walking Dead,  ect. If you take me too serious you deserve to have #8 take away your #9
 
 
1. Stockpile weapons.
apparently he who has the guns has the power according to all my research.

 
 
2. Get control of a water source.
That's one of the first thing they tell you in the Hunger Games....Find water!
 
3. Go to your Panic Room
Make or find a secured preferably 6-18 inch concrete vault.
 
4. Learn Archery
not only can you defend yourself, but you can get food and have unlimited ammo!
 
5. Try to avoid people.
People are gross. Don't touch them, you might catch something yucky that will kill you..or they may have already gotten ahead of you and have #1 and #4 and WILL kill you.
 
 
6. Go for the headshot
Apparently not only will it for sure kill someone, it will also kill zombies
 
 
7. Get control of a Milita
You won't have to worry about riots when you are the one creating preventing them!
 
 
8. Become a Krav Magra expert...
and grow a mustache
not only will you look amazing, but you will be able to round house kick your way to freedom.
 


9. Stock up on toilet paper
 If all the natural disasters taught us ANYTHING is that you can never have enough toilet paper. Period.
He who has the paper, wins the war.
 
10. Get bitten by a vampire and become immortal
 
I know you are saying "DUH!" but I had to put this out here because if all else fails, this will always ensure you will survive....FOREVER
make sure to have your immortal children before you turn!!


Aren't you so glad you read by blog and got all this important survival information!?!?  I know I AM.  :)  hahaha! I mean...
 
MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
 
 
 
 
Note:
If riots do happen, don't be the dumb mob person that destroys things. Just stay inside and be nice :) unless the people try to hurt you or your babies...you then have my permission to go Krav Magra on their butts :)

2 comments:

  1. These are all excellent ideas.. I never thought twilight vampires would ever have any use, but yet you have found it!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Awesome advice. I wish I had found this sooner to prepare.

    ReplyDelete

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