Thursday, March 8, 2012

#19 YER FACE!!!

I want to apologize for the last post. I let some stupid head get to me and I allowed them to make me feel less of who I am. I KNOW WHO I AM DANG IT! And really truly the only peeps that I need to be concerned with their opinion of me is God and Myself. (hubby you come in third ..kisses!)

 I just read a post about bullying from my friend Tracie at CRACK YOU WHIP which brought back memories of my own bullied days of school and I realize that even as adults we are still bullied. But as adults we should have the experience and the mental capacity to deal with bullies head on. What I should have said to Beauty Betty was....ARE YOU CALLING ME UGLY? :) AND FAT?! ( just threw that one in there just to see) hahaha or maybe I should have just threw my cucumber water at her...it might have made her MELT! HA! now THAT would have been a site to see!  

I guess as adults we sometimes cannot believe how rude, pushy or just plain MEAN people are, so we are taken aback with their insults and are caught off guard not knowing how to react in that moment....we know how to react AFTER it has occurred...in our car....in our bed...stewing over the days events....but when it happens to us, in that instant, unless you have been prepared, you just stand there stupefied and TAKE IT!

I now have created an automatic response to help me for future stupid-head attacks:
YER FACE
YER MOM
YER UPPER LIP
BOOM

Try it! It's fun! Example:

BB: I can't believe that's you in the picture!
Me: YER FACE!
BB: What?
Me: YER MOM!!!
BB: excuse me?
Me: YER UPPER LIP!!!!!!!!!
BB: That doesn't even make sense
Me: BOOM


It's great! Totally works! And you don't have to save this gem for mean people NAY! You can use it for everyday conversation just for FUN!

Boss:  Did you file you TPS report?
Me: YER FACE FILED IT!
Boss: what?
Me: YER MOM FILED IT!!!
Boss: Why are you talking about my mother?
Me: YER UPPER LIP FILED IT!!!!!!!
Boss: Um...yeah...I think we are going to have to let you go...
Me: BOOM

See?! Such fun!

BTW I have been drinking a MEH coffee and just finished the bag THANK GOD It was as boring as my white ikea mug with nothing fancy on it. Practical. Functional. Nothing Special.

It's a Gevalia Kaffe house blend Ground Medium/ dark blend. I love coffee descriptions because they always sound really good, but aren't always really good. This one says:
Robust, Incredibly Smooth
An exceptional smooth, never bitter coffee
This Swedish inspired roast has a captivation aroma.

Quite literally I can say that this description of this coffee is not quite accurate. Here is how I would describe it on the label:
OK, Incredibly underwhelming
I'm sort of bitter
We like to put other country names on here to make you think it's more special than it is. I smell OK too.

And there you have it. Not worth the $7 I spent (thank God for a coupon!) 


And what am I thankful for today?

Pregnancy tests

Who wants to wait to see the doctor when you can know just by peeing on a stick?!?!


UPDATE:

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I AM NOT PREGNANT! I'm just thankful for the invention of such a wonderful device! 

15 comments:

  1. You CAN'T say that and NOT give any more explanation - come on Jess, what are you thinking?????

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I updated with CLARIFICATION sheesh garner

      Delete
  2. OK, I just laughed for 5 minutes straight. I can't wait for my husband to get home so I can try the whole "yer face, yer mom, yer upper lip, boom" routine on him. GENIUS!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would love to say that I just made that up for this post, but my friends can attest, I actually use these phrases in real life :) BOOM

      Delete
  3. I LOVE these adult bully responses. I'm so reactive that my responses usually make a sailor blush. Yea, not pretty!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL well i guarantee that if you use these comebacks, people will not expect it and will end up apologizing or walking away very confused :)

      Delete
  4. You were bullied in school! Oh for the love of pete! Where are they? As a post note- I can just hear you saying all these phrases in my head and you gave me a good laugh. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  5. "Yer mom" is the only one of those I've heard before. "Yer face" and "Yer upper lip" might be effective on the right person.

    Have you heard "Up your butt with a coconut"?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't say I've heard of the coconut one...clever from a gorilla HA...The 'yer mom' is not an original, but when used in conjunction with yer face, yer upper lip and boom...QUITE effective! confusion hits EVERY time!

      Delete

You should comment. I am an affirmation girl, so even if it's shallow and fake, I will TAKE IT!!! Or if you hate it, you will just give me good material for another blog post so.... COMMENT OR DIE!!! ( that was a bit harsh, but i really do like comments...thanks!)