#24 No longer an 8

I am no longer a size 8. I hoped I would go back. I prayed I would go back...but it's been over a year now and I'm pretty sure the damage is permanent. My FEET are now and 8 1/2. *SNIFF* *TEAR* (wait were you thinking size 8 in CLOTHING?!?! HAHAHAHAHHAAA ha.. *cough* I think I was an 8 in my
Mountain Biking days a distant memory of my youth)

So 16 months since I had my baby, my feet never really gone back to their original size. I was a good size 8 to 81/2 before the baby, then went up to a 9 while prego and now have settled into an 8 1/2.

Which means all my 8's no longer fit my feet! :( WTC?! Do you realize how many freakin size 8 shoes I have in my closet!?!? Do you know how many CUTE size 8s I have in my closet!?!? more than half my shoe collection are size 8s!



It saddens me so much. I LOVE shoes. It's a bad habit I picked up long long ago while trying on my mom's 80s pumps when I was a kiddo.

oh well maybe i'll make some money selling them and then I can buy all new ones! HA!



So what am I thankful for?



Unused DSW gift cards! HERE I COME SEXY SHOES THAT FIT!!!!

#23 Drugs, Singles, Cats, Bieber, and Coffee

IT's COFFEE REVIEW DAY!!!! 

Oh yeah, but first I was curious about where some of my traffic was coming from to my blog. As I looked up my stats on the google analytics I saw some interesting sites that were apparently referring urls. Can someone explain to me why BUYGENERICSFROMINDIA.COM, SINGLESCROWD.COM, CATDRINKINGSONGS.COM, and JUSTINBIEBERFANBLOG.COM are showing up as sites that people click before they click on my site? I HAD to investigate!!!

Definitions of referring URLS:

When a user clicks on a link in a web page, the user's browser moves to the specified link. When the browser requests the new page, it sends along the URL of the previous page. This "sent along" URL is called a referring URL.

Soooooo...... turns out YOU all clicked on those sites before coming to my site. Sheesh bunch of WEIRDOS! :) Apparently I attract the single, cheap-prescription, drug, Cat-song drinking, Bieber Fever- type of crowd...CHECK YEAH...(I'm secretly a little scared) No judgement, just AWARE now:)

Whatever, you all rock my face off! Not many people take to time to read my ramblings...BUT YOU DO!!! And in a way it makes sense that you all would find my blog amusing...I am not quite NORMAL either...haha

ON TO THE COFFEE!!!

I title this:

Yikes! Stripes! Strong flavored Coffee!  

( fruit stripe gum song...anybody? anybody? early 90s anybody?)

So The mug is my fun hallmark mug I bought at a discount in Kansas City's Hallmark Headquarters. ( My sis-in-law works there and I got to shop in the "SPECIAL"store...it was awesome) I bought a bunch of mugs as gifts but kept this little gem for myself! It's ceramic but has a rubber top to go with it if you need to travel...or just kept a lid on it!

Now the cafe ole. I thought because i have had this brand of coffee before that it was going to be a winner winner...ended up being chicken dinner...if you know what I mean.  So I bought Caribou French Roast Bou-La-La.   Again, I LOVE the description of these coffee's. This once I sort of agree with though: 

Our darkest coffee conveys smoky richness with flavors if bittersweet cocoa and a snap of tart apple

First and foremost, I have NO IDEA where they are coming up with the tart apple. I tasted nothing that resembled tart apple. 

Second, they were half right when they said it was bittersweet. Just the bitter part, no Sweet. I had to add a butt-load of Steevia sugar to make that coffee tolerable for me to drink without reacting with twitches to the face...not hte best reaction you want ot have when drinking coffee.  It actually had a good flavor, but it was so strong that I couldn't focus on anything else.  AND this guys is like 9$ a back (12 oz) so it's a little more expensive.

Overall Jess Rating?

One Thumb Down...No Bueno for Yessica

And what am I thankful for today?

Whoever mad this:

#22 Zombies and Photography

So I have officially decided to start taking clients for photo sessions! It's kind of a big leap for me since I SWORE I wouldn't go that route...but...I couldn't help myself...people kept asking me to take their cute little kids photos! I thought I might as well make it for real and get paid since I currently don't have a paycheck.

Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE doing this kind of photography!  It's so fun to catch those moments on camera and share them with everyone. There is something though, deep within me, that wants to do stuff like this:

Click on picture to see the whole photo shoot!

Zombie engagement photo shoot. aka BRILLIANT! How stinkin' cool are these people to WANT to do this for their engagement photos?! Best. Idea. Ever.

And speaking of the zombie apocalypse, which we are all preparing for, I want to share some tips for packing your bug out bag:

1. Cash will probably not be worth anything so don't bother stock piling it. Spend it now! 
2. Cell phones won't work, so invest in a hand crank CB radio and have any friends or family you want to still be in contact with after the apocalypse to get one too. Great gift idea for Christmas! Nothings says I LOVE YOU than a cb radio for after all Hell breaks loose!
3. Guns:  Remember, all that hoarding of ammo does you no good if you can't carry it all with you! Think RAMBO
4. Gotta slow kid? Hiking packs to carry those precious, but stumpy-legged ones is better than all dying 'cause Timmy couldn't keep up.
5. Play Fall Out 3 and watch the book of Eli before looking online for purchases. You will be inspired!

Ha...stinkin Zombies

And what am I thankful for today?

Nap Time.

All parents rejoice at this glorious time of day when the young ones go to sleep and the parents can update their blog, or clean, or play videos games...or ....WHATEVER THE CRAP THEY WANT!!!! MWUAHAHAHAHA!!!!! FREEEEEEDOM!!!!!....crap she's up...*sigh*

#21 My Dogs are KILLING me!

 I own 2 dogs. We got them both from the local shelter...not because we want to SAVE the dogs, I mean that's sweet and all too, but because we wanted to SAVE money and not do what I did in college and spend $600 + on a mutant uni-testi, Rat dog. 

                                                              Rat dog started off like this:

Ooo Cute Puppy!!!

And turned into this:

SATAN'S SPAWN!!!

I've never met a dog so JACKED up. He had double incisor teeth that needed to be removed. He would snip at anything male, and  when we tried to cut his hair.  He didn't have a testicle descend so he needed surgery for that. We were told to get him neutered to calm him down and instead it made him CRAZIER.  And what's worse, we got him as a puppy, a SWEET LITTLE PUPPY! and he just turned evil.   No joke. (I'm sure my rearing skills as a college student had NOTHING to do with it) We gave him away to a sweet lady I worked with who made him a muzzle and a cape. Changed his name to Mister Bigglesworth and claimed him a Gay dog. Done and done.  I've never been so happy to get rid of an animal before in my life.

So this time around we went to the local shelter and only spent $80 which INCLUDED neutering/spaying! DEAL! Our first dog is Sadie. Or as we refer to as Sadie-dog.  We got her first in fall of 07. We thought she was cute and noticed she didn't bark like all the other dogs. She's a lab/Blood hound mix, so her droopy face is quite cute.  This is me outside the shelter the day we got her:

Yes she is peeing in this picture.

They told us she was about 1 1/2 years old and was done growing. They also didn't think much of the white mark on her head which looked like she got hit or knocked by something. THE SHELTER LIES.  She was NOT 1 1/12 years old, she was closer to 7 months old...aka PUPPY, and she was NOT done growing. She was 50lbs and now after almost 5 years, she is 81 lbs.

This is Sadie now:

She is a MASSIVE beautiful dog that is the STUPIDEST dog I have ever met. Remember that white mark on her head? Apparently she got bonked or abused before she got to the shelter, so she has this amazing ability to completely block you out while staring right at you (like my hubby sometimes haha) or she'll focus on a bird or a smell and nothing else will exist in her world. Plus she has this NEED to be touched at all times. The picture is very accurate depiction of her trying to sit in my lap. She has no concept of personal space. If our other dog is getting petted, she will wedge herself between the two to get pet instead. She did this once to me and my baby girl which didn't bode well for the Sadie-dog.  Do not MESS with mamma bear's cub...even if you were here first.

Now we got our other dog in order for Sadie to have a companion and in hope of her being distracted enough to not eat every plant in sight or destroy our patio furniture.(it didn't really help)  His name is DUKE.  Duke is an 86 lb shepherd mix. Duke is AWESOME. I love duke. Duke is what every dog should be. He's cuddly, he is loyal, he's great with the baby and he can kill random vermin that enter our backyard illegally.
This is Duke when we first got him from the shelter. Again, he got neutered so he had to wear this ridiculous cone (which he ended up destroying and tearing out his stitches 3 times... but I digress...)

Looks a little crazy but he's awesome

 This is Duke now:

I love Duke. Did I say that already?  Great dog. This past weekend hubby and I came home from a date. We pulled up to our home and there is Duke just chillin' outside the garage. We were like, "hey Duke?whatcha doing out here? Where's Sadie? "  Duke was like.... NOTHING HE'S A DOG!!!  haha Anyway looked around the fence and found a lovely hole in the fence 3 planks deep. STUPID DOG.  Hubby was not happy.  But then he thought...HEY! maybe she is gone now forever! No more Sadie dog!!! YEA!!!!  We walked into the house and we had a message...yep...some poor guy had her. he ran away from her thinking she was going to attack him...apparently scared the POOP out of him! She caught him and started licking him...so he was relieved to find her friendly.  So I went and picked her up.

And that was the day we almost got rid our  Sadie-dog.
(ps: she started digging in the same spot the next day after hubby repaired the fence...
and that was the day Sadie-dog almost died)

Thankful?

Oh venti non-fat chai latte how I love you

#20 little rough Butte

I'm having a bit of a rough morning. Hubby and I were watching TV last night (Netflix)... side note: We don't watch real TV anymore, I was curious what was on last night and I was ASSAULTED with THE VOICE, THE BACHELOR, and that show with the funny overweight lady that  I keep thinking is KING OF QUEENS and she just put on a few pounds but it's something else.  And as I was turning Netflix on I felt and overwhelming feeling of WHO CARES?! (the Bachelor in particular... it was the final rose or something idiotic like that where they pretend to get engaged and then realize they were courting on a REALITY TV SHOW so things were not happily ever after when in REAL LIFE he has a horrible foot odor and she is a closet HOARDER....but I digress)  I will never get that time back...*sigh*  

ANYWHO...As I was saying, Hubby and I were watching "How stuff works" the CORN edition...trust me...corn is WAY MORE interesting than anything that comes out of Christina Aguilera's mouth...and towards the end I am totally passed out asleep on Hubby. Stay that way through the SALT episode and finally drag my body downstairs to bed.  Hubby is super tired too and apparently was also passed out during Salt.  This morning I was still exhausted! I actually asked my hubby if he drugged me.... which of course he did... JUST KIDDING hahaha!!! I have found one good thing about daylight savings...my baby girl sleeps past 8am now! 

Time for the coffee and mug!

Waking our Butte's up

From now on I'm going to save my coffee reviews for once a weekish. Even though I am going through POTS of coffee a day, its hard to review more than one a week because i can't drink it fast enough!  I'm sure everyone is cool with that :) Half of you people don't even DRINK coffee! haha weirdos

My CButte Mug

Look! Same Mt!!!

My mug is awesome. I found it at a thrift store and had to buy it.  Why you ask? Because I have a very special memory that me and hubby had in Crested Butte.  For the first 3 years of our married life, hubby and I lived in Colorado. It was paradise. I was so skinny there....SIGH.....lol ... anyway, near the end of our stint there we decided to go on a mountain biking trip to Crested Butte, with hubby's co-workers that we were very close to. So all spring we TRAINED. Like FOR REAL trained! We would bike almost everyday and got into crazy awesome shape!  It was great! So when the trip came, we felt very prepared. 

 Now I have to do another side note:  I have the tendency to fall or run into things....you may even call it CLUMSY....I have a bad track record. During training I had quite a few "accidents".... one time ran into a bright yellow pole...in daylight...yeah...so you need to know that before I continue. 

Crested Butte Village 

So we have been there a day or so and the time has come for our upper loop, upper upper loop and the lupine trail. I think it was equivalent to 6 miles of uphill windy trails or something and there were 5 of us. It started out really good. We were doing well, no one was dragging or had fallen too bad.  About halfway, hubby realized he was out of water.  We had forgotten to pack our camel pack for the trip so we just had a couple bottles of water and a Gatorade each. He had drank all his water and Gatorade and was hurting a bit. So I gave him my Gatorade since I still had most of my water left. And we continued on without a thought. We got to a really steep stretch downhill and were having a blast, when our leader J, took a bad fall. She flipped her bike and got wedged between a rock and her bike on her chest. It was pretty scary and I felt horrible for her fiance.  They stabilized her, (they are all in the medical field) after a little bit, she was able to get back on her bike, but she thought she had cracked her sternum, YEAH big OUCH! 

Crested Butte....SO PRETTY

Needless to say, we were all the way up the mountain and had to get her to the ER STAT! So we are booking it now down the mt. Hubby has just drank the rest of my water and is really fighting to keep up with us.  About a mile from our cabin, Hubby suddenly has to push his bike. His hands are cramping real bad and he can't stay on his bike.  I walk with him to the trail head and he collapses. He can't move, he can't drink, and he is really nauseous.  Diagnosis? Severe Dehydration. GOOD TIMES.  He along with J, piled into a car and sped down to Gunnison Valley Hospital's ER.  Hubby was so white he looked dead (apparently he actually could have died for real).  Really scared me. When we got there, they grabbed a wheelchair and ran him inside. He was given 2 liters of fluid to help him re-hydrate and was fine after a few hrs.  J, was x-rayed and she ended up being fine, bruised, no broken things THANK GOD. And ME?!?!?!?!?

Almost to the top...before J's Fall

I was the only one in the group who DIDN'T FALL the entire time and DIDN'T end up in the ER!!!!! 

Yea me. whoop whoop

And what am I thankful for today?

The 4th cup of coffee.... THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

#19 YER FACE!!!

I want to apologize for the last post. I let some stupid head get to me and I allowed them to make me feel less of who I am. I KNOW WHO I AM DANG IT! And really truly the only peeps that I need to be concerned with their opinion of me is God and Myself. (hubby you come in third ..kisses!)

 I just read a post about bullying from my friend Tracie at CRACK YOU WHIP which brought back memories of my own bullied days of school and I realize that even as adults we are still bullied. But as adults we should have the experience and the mental capacity to deal with bullies head on. What I should have said to Beauty Betty was....ARE YOU CALLING ME UGLY? :) AND FAT?! ( just threw that one in there just to see) hahaha or maybe I should have just threw my cucumber water at her...it might have made her MELT! HA! now THAT would have been a site to see!  

I guess as adults we sometimes cannot believe how rude, pushy or just plain MEAN people are, so we are taken aback with their insults and are caught off guard not knowing how to react in that moment....we know how to react AFTER it has occurred...in our car....in our bed...stewing over the days events....but when it happens to us, in that instant, unless you have been prepared, you just stand there stupefied and TAKE IT!

I now have created an automatic response to help me for future stupid-head attacks:

YER FACE

YER MOM

YER UPPER LIP

BOOM

Try it! It's fun! Example:

BB: I can't believe that's you in the picture!

Me: YER FACE!

BB: What?

Me: YER MOM!!!

BB: excuse me?

Me: YER UPPER LIP!!!!!!!!!

BB: That doesn't even make sense

Me: BOOM

It's great! Totally works! And you don't have to save this gem for mean people NAY! You can use it for everyday conversation just for FUN!

Boss:  Did you file you TPS report?

Me: YER FACE FILED IT!

Boss: what?

Me: YER MOM FILED IT!!!

Boss: Why are you talking about my mother?

Me: YER UPPER LIP FILED IT!!!!!!!

Boss: Um...yeah...I think we are going to have to let you go...

Me: BOOM

See?! Such fun!

BTW I have been drinking a MEH coffee and just finished the bag THANK GOD It was as boring as my white ikea mug with nothing fancy on it. Practical. Functional. Nothing Special.

It's a Gevalia Kaffe house blend Ground Medium/ dark blend. I love coffee descriptions because they always sound really good, but aren't always really good. This one says:

Robust, Incredibly Smooth

An exceptional smooth, never bitter coffee

This Swedish inspired roast has a captivation aroma.

Quite literally I can say that this description of this coffee is not quite accurate. Here is how I would describe it on the label:

OK, Incredibly underwhelming

I'm sort of bitter

We like to put other country names on here to make you think it's more special than it is. I smell OK too.

And there you have it. Not worth the $7 I spent (thank God for a coupon!) 

And what am I thankful for today?

Pregnancy tests

Who wants to wait to see the doctor when you can know just by peeing on a stick?!?!

UPDATE:

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I AM NOT PREGNANT! I'm just thankful for the invention of such a wonderful device! 

#18 my look

Sorry there will be no coffee review today I have a coffee to review... but i'm not feeling like it today :).It has come to my attention that apparently I look very different every time I leave my house.  I didn't pay much attention to the comments I would get until I hosted a makeup party at my house.  (please refer to my judge post and refrain from the judgement. I'm feeling it strong right now through the computer so STOP IT!) The lady who was selling the stuff came over early to set up. We will call her BEAUTY BETTY.  Well beauty Betty was getting done setting up when she stopped at my fridge looking at a family picture. This the conversation that proceeded. 

Beauty Betty: OH MY GOD! IS THAT YOU!?!?!  

Me: what?

BB: It has to be because there's your daughter!

Me: Oh yeah that was taken at Thanksgiving

BB: I don't believe it except that I know what your daughter looks like!

Me: Yep that's me!

BB: I mean, I wouldn't have even known that was you!

Me: well I did my hair and have makeup on?

BB: Wow it's like a different person entirely!

Me: Um...

BB: I'm sorry I just can't believe that's you!

Me:(now annoyed AND self conscious) Nope, it's me ha. ha. I clean up well. ha. Are you done setting up?

I left that conversation thinking...DEAR LORD HOW BAD DO I LOOK RIGHT NOW!? Granted I had no makeup on, I was in loungey clothes and my hair was in a bun, but...REALLY? I didn't think I looked like a totally different person. But then other similar conversations began to pop in my head. Like every time I start a new job it takes people a much longer time to remember who I am. It also in the same instance when I am remember it usually involves an exclamation of " OH JESSICA!!! YOU LOOK DIFFERENT TODAY! I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU!"

Different can be taken as good, bad or different. I always assume it's bad. :)  So I have decided to put some looks together that i had over the years and you all can decide for yourself. 

And the picture that was on my fridge?

I don't see a difference.

#17 Priorities

Dear Coffee Blog,


I know that I have neglected you for over a week. I haven't written, haven't posted anything funny, haven't made any silly photoshopped pictures of myself on you.  If it makes you feel better, I have been drinking coffee everyday, but the truth is, I don't feel too bad about not writing...turns out you were taking a lot of time away from my ADORABLE little baby girl and hubby...I'm not quitting you, I just needed a little time to prioritize :)

While I was away I got to go to the park with my little girl and watch her slide down a slide all by herself for the first time!

We went to the thrift store and bought some new books that we sat and read together over and over and over....AND OVER again.

I actually took time to do my devotional BEFORE I opened the computer. I dusted off my camera and put it and Photoshop to some different use:

Click Here for more

I did a bunch of other stuff including celebrating with my closest friend the near arrival of her second baby.  It was a small group of us that celebrated, but what we lacked in size we made up for in AWESOMENESS :)  haha. We ate a glorious place called The Steeping Room.  

"The Steeping Room is committed to bringing you natural and organic teas and foods whenever possible. We avoid the use of artificial ingredients or flavorings. We favor strong relationships with small and local producers, manufacturers and growers whenever possible."

 This is probably one of my favorite places because they have the BEST chai tea. and like hundreds of others to choose from.  But on this occasion I decided to try something different because I ALWAYS get the same tea.  (note to self: the reason I get the same tea is because i know it's awesome and therefore don't have to worry about getting nastiness instead) I descided to go on a limb and get Jasmine Green (Organic), Fujian, China,. My waitress said it was different but good so I went with it. 

Looks innocent enough right? Even good right?  WRONG! The best way to describe this tea is to say it tasted like my BACKYARD.  And not in a good way....not sure how backyard could be taken in a good way, but just so that we understand each other...BAD!  It smelled like honeysuckles and tasted like a grass dirt combo.  Gross. I actually sent it back and ordered my Chai...

LESSON LEARNED: NEVER TRY ANYTHING NEW EVER AGAIN

We the party headed back for cake and presents and someone asked if anyone wanted coffee....um YES PLEASE! I know I just drank a pot this morning, a pot of chai and a couple of Dr Pepper Slushies, but how could I say no to COFFEE?

So the brewing commenced and suddenly this beautiful aroma wafted into the air. It was of yummy vanilla, coffee and something else that I can't quite put my finger on but it smells SO GOOD. I am suddenly sucked in like a TRACTOR BEAM (geek coming out) and somehow I have already poured a cup. Cream?! Sugar?! NOOOOOOO!!!!!! I want this one in it's purest form!!!

 They gave me a Las Vegas mug which was their "coolest" mug in the cupboard. and I gladly accepted it even though I do not have fond feelings toward the place in particular...(I worked in a casino a long time ago and don't have any warm fuzzies for the industry. It's dirty. It smells.  It's gross. period. . .   . )

The coffee is a Starbucks Natural Fusions Vanilla ground. And it is GLORIOUS! Seriously.  I looked up the cost and it looks like it runs around $9 for 11oz.  So a little more expensive, but not breaking the bank.  I drank the CRAP out of that coffee! I'm actually not sure if anybody else in the group got any (sorry gals!) That yummy aroma that drew me into the pot actually transferred to the brewed cup! It was delicious. Hands down awesome. AND THAT WAS BLACK! I bet if I added any other goodies to it, my face would have been rocked clean off. For real.  Thank you Carrales for sharing your sweet sweet coffee with me. I will have to go buy some for myself...or just come over more often :)

LESSON LEARNED: NEVER TRY ANYTHING NEW EVER AGAIN

TRY SOMETHING NEW ONLY WHEN IT SMELLS GOOD ENOUGH TO TRY

Jess Rating?

Crazy awesome rocks my face off go buy it NOW

Thankful for?

Priorities.